Lancette

I made it very clear in my previous article about VD (crabs and scabies) that a thorough wash every day is essential to people that have it off lots of times with lots of different people. Avoiding crabs and scabies is fairly easy because they’re quite large animals and you can see them, or at least what they do to the outside of your body. Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, Non-Specific Urethritis (NSU) and other diseases caught particularly by sexual contact are caused by nasty little creatures that can’t be seen with the nude eye. I’m not going to talk specifically about these different diseases at the moment, but I am going to suggest advice on how to avoid them.

Don’t fuck or be fucked if you have any kind of sore on your prick, cunt or bum. See a doctor. It might be nothing, but check.

After you’ve fucked someone have a piss – it helps to flush out the germs that might be creeping up your piss pipe – wash your cock.

If you are about to be fucked, have a look at his cock first. If there is any kind of sore or spot or wart, forget it. If you really must — just have a mutual wank, but wash your hands afterwards. Warts on the cock, cunt or bum if ignored, are particularly difficult to get rid of, even more so than warts anywhere else on your body. They are not particularly harmful, and may go away of their own accord some time or other, but what right have you to pass them on to anyone else! See your doctor.

If you have any kind of burning sensation when you piss or any kind of discharge from your peehole before or after pissing that doesn’t look like normal piss (cloudy, darker, or thicker) then if you get into bed with anyone the chances are you’re passing on VD and I’d like to kick you in the groin. You deserve it!

Anyone with any kind of worry about Venereal Disease should go to their own doctor, and remember that if he tells any one of your own family or employers about it he can be struck off the register, so he’s bound to be a nice man really. Or go to your local hospital and boldly ask for the ‘Special Treatment Centre’ or VD Clinic, giving someone else’s name and false occupation. They don’t mind but they are inclined to treat you as the scum of the earth. Take the treatment but not the moralising.

PS. If the moralising doctors suggest that you should not drink alcohol because you are being treated for VD of any kind, ignore them. In their own way they’re really saying “if this patient gets drunk he’s likely to go out and fuck somebody else” (or be fucked) it is absolutely nothing to do with the treatment or the drugs used in any kind of VD. It is just that they think you need a little punishment. Death to quacks.

PPS. I’ve never come across a personal vibrator with warts.

PPPS. I’ve never met anyone in my thirty one years of life that doesn’t wank and isn’t a liar. It’s a very healthy exercise — carry on, I’m off to have one now.

A Real Doctor

A Real Doctor

AKA Graham Chapman, who was indeed a real doctor.
A Real Doctor

Latest posts by A Real Doctor (see all)

Author: A Real Doctor

AKA Graham Chapman, who was indeed a real doctor.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *