How They Castrated Monty P.

LONDON: Sources at the BBC say that censorship at the Corporation is reaching insane proportions. They are either worried about the renewal of their Charter in 1976 — or there is interference, from some person or persons nominally designated as “Someone Higher-Up”.

Apart from the Wilde sketch from a programme of series three of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, other things to be censored include part of a song in which a character sings: “I’m getting pissed tonight”, whereas, in the same episode the words ‘piss off’ were allowed to be broadcast. It seems that you’re strictly limited to the number of ‘pisses’ in one show.

A competition in which contestants were given 12 seconds to summarise all the volumes of A La Recherche Du Temps Perdu, one contestant claimed that his own hobbies were golf, strangling animals and masturbation, after which the MC remarked he must have let himself down a bit on the hobbies there – “golf isn’t very popular round here”. This, too, was banned. Apparently you are not allowed to say the word ‘masturbation’ on comedy shows, although it would be permissible on the news, in ‘serious drama’, or documentary.

A rather childish and commendably ‘silly’ sketch in which a wine taster was being asked to give his expert opinion on various vintages of ‘wee-wee’ was hacked out of the show completely on the grounds that the second wine appeared to be rosé. (The BBC bosses, knowing very little about ‘medical matters’ assumed, without any reason, that this was intended to be ‘menstrual urine’!)

A thought that never occurred to the writer or the cast and in all probability would never have occurred to the general public!

Their only logical complaint could have been that the so-called rosé came from someone suffering from a disease of the urinary tract or who’d been eating a lot of beetroot. Menstrual Urine! Who’s getting paranoiac.

Any further example of this kind of censorship will, of course, be passed on to this important newspaper. The above article has absolutely nothing to do with Graham Chapman, who wishes to remain anonymous.

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