Carry On Kidding

EDINBURGH: When Councillor Kidd speaks the Scottish press usually listens for he is always controversial copy.

Kidd, the working man’s Longford, has always been proud of his relationship with the police and the press.

The trinity, he assured our reporter, was responsible for cleaning up the Scottish capital’s pubs and clubs of go-go dancers and strippers.

“The situation was desperate,” Kidd states. “Housewives phoned me up seeking help, their husbands were in pubs where these strippers danced, some even dipped their breasts in pints. The housewives were alarmed at the effect these artists were having on their husbands.” With the help of the press, Kidd soon had the situation under control. Pubs and clubs were not his only target, the “Traverse Theatre Club has been behaving itself,” he assured us “in the last 12 months.”

What he didn’t mention was that the club now has a substantial council grant and this may have had a taming effect on that hotbed of liberal depravity.

However Councillor Kidd’s peace of mind didn’t last long, for on St Andrews night, in the capital itself, boobs and beer were once again united. “It’s disgusting,” he said. “I was astounded. What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. It’s unbelievable.”

To make matters worse, Kidd could not rely on the support of his old allies, the press. For the boobs and all the other accessories were being flashed in, of all places the Edinburgh press club at their annual St Andrews Day dinner/dance.

FOOTNOTE: Councillor Kidd is a versatile puritan, for he’s one of the most vociferous anti-gay activists in Scotland. See his amazing answers to GN interview in GN7.

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