Julian’s Column

Hello dears. I thought I would do something a little different in this issue and have a go at including a few other topics in my regular featurette. It doesn’t mean to say that I have deserted the little Bio, it’s just that the programme there for the next fortnight isn’t very exciting. The goodies that are showing I will mention at the end of my other review.

To begin with though I would like to say a few words about the Larry Grayson album that has been sent me. Then I’d like to describe some of the treats from the Royal Variety Performance that the BBC showed the other week.

Biograph Review

As I said earlier, not much on at the Bio over the next two weeks. But there are a few films worth recommending to you.

On Thursday 16th November, for three days, Borsalino is being shown. Alain Delon and Jean-Paul Belmondo get on very well together and make this super re-construction of an old time gangster movie well worth catching.

Best double bill of the fortnight comes on Thursday 23rd November for three days. The totally gripping Honeymoon Killers is showing with the really scary The House That Dripped Blood. That one, the last time I saw it, scared me so much it almost made my whatnots curdle. The former stars Shirley Stoler and Tony La Bianco, whilst the latter boasts the cream of the British horror brigade, Peter Cushing and Christopher ‘Shut That Church Door’ Lee.

A nice weepie for three days starts on Monday 27th November. Jean Simmons and dishy Leonard Whiting star in Say Hello to Yesterday. I’m sure you will all be interested to know that some of the new location scenes were shot next door to where I live. You could have blown me over with a whisper the morning I came out and found a bus stop had been erected overnight outside my front door, and parked alongside it was a double decker bus. It wasn’t much good to me though, it only went to Regents Park. Oh, I don’t know though. Primrose Hill can be very interesting at times. Anyway the man in the paper shop over the road put me right about what was going on, and saved me from rushing off to have a scream at someone at the local council offices about new bus routes lowering the tone of the neighbourhood.

Remember I was saying in the last issue to watch out for ‘Lily Law’ and her wandering at the Bio. Well, she seems to have got bored and is keeping herself busy somewhere else. Now you can get on with your relaxation without any interference, apart from that silly usherette man who still can’t keep his hands off his flasher. I hope that the batteries of his torch run out soon.

Take care of yourselves, you should have your woolly vests on by now. If you catch a cold now you’ll have it all winter. Bye all.

Everard and All

WHAT A GAY DAYLarry (Shut That Door) Grayson — York Records MYK 602

No doubt you all know about Larry Grayson and the considerable amount of success he has had this year. Firstly there’s that television series of his, and if you believe the television ratings, he’s doing very nicely. Secondly, he had a single record out called, you guessed it, Shut That Door. That too was very popular.

Now he’s brought out a 12” LP record called What A Gay Day. All the old favourites are included, such as Slack Alice, Apricot Lil, Everard, Candlewick Kate, Non-Stick Nell, and Once-A-Week Nora. I’ve met a few ‘slack alices’ in my time so I can sympathise, but Everard sounds devine! There is always room for you at my place, Ev, if that Larry gets on at you too much.

Compared to Mark Fleming, Larry is a little tame. And his album certainly is not going to shock anyone, but if you like his type of humour, this is sure to please.

The Marrow is a bit naughty, although what he’s getting at is fairly obvious. That Larry is a greedy boy.

He also sings a couple of standards – Second Hand Rose and Only A Glass Of Champagne – in his own inimitable way. Stories about all his ills and pains also appear, as well as descriptions of little adventures he’s had. Shut That Door turns up here and there, as well as him doing the original song version.

With Christmas coming up a lot of people will be buying this for their parties and festivities. Larry never goes too far, so Mums, Dads, Aunt Flo’s and the rest are not going to be outraged too much.

Have a listen, you will get a few laughs if you are in the right mood. You wait until I make my record. I’ll show that ‘Gay Day’ Larry a thing or two.

Queens at the Palladium

Well loves, did you see it? Wasn’t it a gorgeous gay event? All the stars were there, and there wasn’t just one queen there either. Apart from HM Queen Elizabeth and The Queen Mother, lovely ladies both of them, there were those pianist lads – Liberace and Elton John – and Danny La Rue looking more fetching than ever. Such stunning gowns he wears!

Liberace’s wardrobe was as fabulous as ever and he was changing his creations every two minutes. Someone forgot to light his candles though. He had a little competition from Elton, who seemed bent on showing from where he gets his fashion inspirations.

Danny was up to his usual standard and he did some sexy numbers with the chorus boys.

Of the rest of the stars Jack Jones and comedienne Carol Channing were superb, and Carol’s little piece with Liberace was very amusing. The Jackson Five were delightful. I couldn’t keep my eyes off that boy Michael Jackson. Knows his showbiz that kid. Particularly of note was Roy Hull and his Emu, who kept me in stitches throughout his act.

A very enjoyable show and such a regal evening.

Return Of The Biograph Review

Hello dears. As I said in my brief note in the last edition of this ‘Times’ of the other world, I thought that there was a good chance that I would be able to carry on with my Biograph Review. Well, everything went according to my little plan, and here we are with a sparkling new feature on the Bio.

No thanks either to Mr Wheelan, the cinema’s manager. Luckily for me my friends at the ‘Times’ and the ‘Observer’ have helped me overcome the problem of obtaining the forthcoming programme. Thank you boys, I’ll settle up with you later, at my place. I sincerely hope that Mr Wheelan turns a colour when he sees this, serves him right for being such a big meanie.

Before I commence with my review, I must unfortunately offer fans of the Bio a word of warning. Recently our ‘friends in blue’ have been visiting our little Bio and making a considerable nuisance of themselves. Goodness knows why, I’ve never seen anything going on there that would startle me. Mind you, I have occasionally been given a turn by the size of some people, however they manage to sit down in those little wooden seats I just don’t know. To be serious though, I suppose the ‘guardians of the law’ have nothing better to do. Maybe now that the weather has become chilly, the criminals aren’t committing so many robberies, or else ‘lily law’ is feeling the cold a little too much and wants an excuse for a warm up. Anyway dears, take care. Better to be safe than sorry I always say, so keep a watchful eye open even if you are totally captivated by the delights showing.

Back to the silver screen. On 2nd November for three days, Marlon Brando and Richard Boone star in Night Of The Following Day. Lovely actors, both of these men, and they perform well together in this moving film. Support is our own Kenneth Williams, ably assisted by Phil Silvers, in Follow That Camel. It sounds rather rude but Ken should make it interesting enough to watch.

Sunday 5th November, for one day only, has Burt Lancaster, being ever so hulky, in a western called The Scalphunters. He shares the credits with super Shelley ‘Bloody Momma’ Winters. The naughty and puzzling My Wife’s Husband completes the bill. French comedy star Fernandel and Clair Maurier are the principal actors. A good laugh if you like a bit of the continentals. It’s also Bonfire Night this Sunday, but if you ask me, it is a lot safer to be in a cinema than taking part in the Gay Fawkes celebrations. I like a good bang like anybody else, but I feel a lot better about it if I know that the fireworks are only in responsible hands.

The shocking, but thought-provoking Soldier Blue is the major attraction for three days on Monday 6th November. The beautiful Candice Bergen and luscious Peter Strauss star in this violent saga from the ‘old west’. Second feature is Charro, which is one of those forgettable movies made by Elvis Presley. But his hips are still a treat.

The truly underrated Downhill Racer, starring Robert Redford and Gene Hackman is one half of the programme on Thursday 9th November. That Robert Redford, ooh! It’s a skiing epic with a moral or two. Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis are together in The Out Of Towners, which is also being shown. I haven’t seen this before but it sounds fun.

Sunday fare on 12th November is Operation Kid Brother, starring Neil Connery. It’s nothing very special, but the support feature, Trunk To Cairo is much more interesting. Two recently deceased movie stars, Audie Murphy and George Sanders are in the leading roles. The film is an exciting thriller.

The double bill of the fortnight is on Monday 13th November, when Carnal Knowledge and Catch 22 are being shown. The former stars sexy Jack Nicholson and the latter, Orson Welles. A very generous programme this, if not a little exhausting.

Well, my lovelies, that is what’s in store for you during the next couple of weeks at the Bio. Mind you heed what I mentioned earlier. I’ll let you know when things get back to ‘normal’. And I hope that none of you, including Mr Wheelan, think I have been too malicious with my words.

Before I go, thanks for all your letters, some of you are ever so kind. I might take some of you up on your offers too, but I’m rather busy still with the person I spent my recent holiday with. Love you all though.

STOP PRESS: The Biograph Review.

Dear lovely people, in case you were wondering what had become of your Jules, I’m having a little holiday with a beautiful individual I met the other day. And I didn’t meet him at you know where, so there!

There is a very good chance now that the Bio Review will be back to normal in the next issue of this startling paper. Till then take special care of yourselves. Wrap up warm, it’s getting cold at night now. Julian D Grinspoon

Last of the Biograph?

Is this the last Biograph Review? Why was there no Bio Review in GN No 7? What has happened to Julian? Has Julian contravened the Obscenity Laws or sold out to Lord Longford? Has the Bio turned the lights off?

These and other unasked questions will be answered by Julian in his following article, which could possibly be his return and his departure!

Oh loves, you won’t believe it! Your own dear Julian has been nobbled. I’ve been interfered with by forces out of my control. And it’s all very nasty I can tell you. In fact I will tell you. Here’s what has been happening to yours truly.

Those of you who have been wise enough to buy this delightful publication since it first appeared will no doubt have regularly noticed, if not read, this little feature of mine called the Biograph Review.

It was written in the hope of communicating to you some of the pleasures I have enjoyed at that little cinema. Or my little haven as I used to call it. I also, so you wouldn’t be quite so much in the dark about some of the more glorious celluloid creations they often show there, provided details and reminders about what’s on and when. I also passed a comment or two about past and future showings, and said the occasional word about the comforts to be found in the Bio.

And now and again I’ve been a little critical about either the films or the running of the cinema. Remember what I had to say about torch flashing.

Well, after thrilling you for six issues of this paper – and drawn a few comments I’d rather forget from some of you – it came to the time when I had to phone Mr Wheelan, manager of the Bio, to get the information I needed to write my review for the next issue.

When I got through to Mr W, the reception I recieved wasn’t quite the one I had anticipated. His greeting was somewhat curt, to say the least, and when I asked him for the forthcoming programme I was told that he felt he would rather not have the Bio mentioned or written about by me in this paper. Well you could have knocked me down with a half empty packet of Boots cotton wool. When I had gathered myself together I ventured to ask why he had taken such a turn towards me. To this I was told that he considered my writings to be malicious. Oh, that hurt – me, sweet little Jules, accused of maliciousness. I’ve had a few things said about me in my time, but that one takes the cake and eats it.

By this time, I might say, I was beginning to get a little cross, but not wanting to make the situation worse, I calmed myself down, and bravely and charmingly tried to find out what specifically was upsetting him so. But he wouldn’t say much more, apart from again stating that he considered the aims of my writings to be malicious towards his cinema, and that I didn’t realise that his establishment was for the benefit and pleasure of all. I replied that I had seen ladies there, but also had heard stories about the trouble they sometimes caused. I also reminded him that it was patrons like myself who not only made him his bread and butter, but also helped to put a fair portion of jam on top of it.

But he wasn’t interested in anything I had to say. Even reminding him further of the free advertising I gave the Bio (as well as the full programme being advertised in the paper) came to no avail.

So Julian’s been sabotaged. My career as a respected cinema critic has had its roots pulled up. I don’t quite know, at the time of writing, what I can do about the situation. If you feel strongly about your Jules being censored, I suggest you give Mr ‘Bio’ Wheelan a ring at his cinema (01-834 1624) or at his office (01-493 8771-3), and tell him exactly what you think of him and his dirty trick on me.

I do have a little plan about how I can get the information needed to write my piece, but have no guarantee that it will be successful.

It has been suggested by my editors that I move on to other and better things to write about. Maybe restaurants or fashion – it has even been recommended that I take on the task of reviewing the new 45 RPM single records. I would much rather continue with the Bio Review though, but even if I don’t (or can’t) your Julian will come up with something super to titillate you with.

I might add that my mind’s been in turmoil for the past couple of weeks. I was so sorry about letting down all you people who had taken a liking to my column. But let me say this, being nobbled isn’t easy, as some of you must surely know, especially after a certain age, but that’s another story, isn’t it?

Just bare with me for a little while, Julian isn’t beaten yet. Take care of yourselves dears. Flowers care of this paper’s office please.


ED. Will Julian come bouncing back? Watch this space in our next issue for the continuing saga of adorable Jules. He’s a wise and canny old bird really, so there should be more goodies in store for you all. RIP little Bio. Kill the crabs.

Your Letters

19720901-02Dear Brothers and Sisters,

WHY I AM OPPOSED TO WEARING FROCKS AS A POLITICAL ACT

The argument used by the “Frock Brigade” for wearing drag is that it challenges male privilege and is therefore aiding the liberation of women in our society. I wonder what privileges they are referring to? Neither men nor women in general have any privileges. The majority of “privileged” men have to work hard at monotonous jobs for low pay and have generally unsatisfying existences. It is not by men that women are oppressed, but by the System which oppresses both men and women. Men are often the unwitting agents of women’s oppression. The working man dissatisfied with the conditions of his work will vent his frustration on his wife When he comes home.

Hence it is a question of changing the system by which women are oppressed, that is by being given the opportunity to explore ways of relating other than the restrictive monogamous heterosexual relationships based on mutual tolerance rather than mutual love.

As a political act within GLF it is very damaging as the majority of gay people do not, cannot, and do not wish to identify with men wearing frocks. If a man WANTS to wear drag, that is a perfectly valid reason for wearing it, but it is folly to think of it as a POLITICAL act. It re inforces a stereotype image of gay people which can have a shattering effect on gay people who still feel ashamed or guilty about being homosexual, making it more difficult for them to accept themselves. The Frock Brigade (I do not use the term Radical Feminist as they are neither radical nor feminist.) should realise the amount of harm they are doing to the gay movement and, more importantly, how much unhappiness they must be causing to thousands of gays who become alienated by their tactics.

Apparently, as the Spare Rib incident would indicate, the Frock Brigade will only accept women’s liberation on their terms i.e. on men’s terms. If that isn’t patronising, I wonder what is. How can these men (even though they pretend they are not men) be aware of what being a woman is like, of producing and caring for children and of being brought up from infancy as a woman.

As a LIBERATION movement, let us not forget that liberation is about people. Let us not forget the people we’re trying to liberate.

P Waldschmidt.


WARNING
Brixton Hill
London

Dear Gay News,

Piggery alas at yet another cottage. On August 16 at Strawberry Vale cottage, Finchley, on the North Circular Road near the A 1000 intersection. I arrived to find a cute looking fuzz in fetchingly butch mufti – leather jacket and lovely black hair and moustache – taking down the particulars of several gay brothers whilst a colleague with an alsation dog looked on.

In early May the same cottage was invaded by-two Security Express guards, again complete with alsations. Whether the London Borough of Barnet had hired them for this purpose or they decided just to have a little go at any fucking poufs they might find whilst passing I can’t say, but clearly this is a terrifying precedent.

Love and strength, Jim Scott
Upper Richmond Road,

Putney Sw15


Dear Editor,

The negative comments in your column about Biograph Review are somewhat misleading.

Reviewing in national dailies has become a specialised art, obscurity is deliberate, and the writing seems purposely directed towards the comprehension of an elite few, not the total readership.

Biograph Review is informative without being stuffy. It is written in an extremely individual style. No profession lends itself to individuality more than journalism.

It is youthful. There is a two-fold place in modern journalism for youthfulness: first; to atone for past prejudice against young writers as “immature” second; because, as even the establishment has come to realise – youth has something to say.

The art of the critic is not easily attained.

George Copeland’s letter (Gay News No. 4) illustrates that. Especially if one aspires to the ponderous, overwritten, heavy material so often enountered.

Julian Grinspoon’s column easily achieves what it proposes – communication. It radiates friendship.

At his trial, Oscar Wilde was asked if the conversation of one of his young men friends was “literary”?

“No. On the contrary,” replied Mr. Wilde, “quite simple and easily understood.”

Fred G. Green
ex: Arts Committee
Gay Activists Alliance-New York

This is a letter sent to OZ magazine in reply to Felix Dennis’s criticisms of the Biograph Review. Julian says “right on and all that sort of thing” to Fred, and “hard sucks” to Felix.


Barons Court W 14

Dear Collective,

Notwithstanding the paranoia with which Bob Mellors consistently gives ‘sisters’ priority over ‘brothers’, there is much in his letter (GN no 4) to commend. At one point he might almost have been quoting me. I have always longed to be regarded as a sex object. Even when I was a pretty young chick (and I can substantiate that claim with documentary evidence) I was singularly lacking in that animal magnetism which attracts other gay guys into bed. Admittedly, over the years, this has been compensated for by a series of prolonged and searching relationships culminating in an ecstatic and richly rewarding love affair I had with a young man I met through the columns of IT (vide my “Sunday Times” letter reprinted in GN 3), but this doesn’t alter the fact that I am, and always have been, welcomed with something less than warmth on the sex conveyor belt that your eighteen-year-old writes about with such (feigned?) boredom.

This brings up the whole question of sex-appeal and psycho-sexual empathy in the gay world. Even in maturity, if I might euphemise middle-age as such, I am not a bad proposition. My teeth and legs are good, my sexual appetite voracious, and I give as good as I get. My IQ is not quite up to Bobby Fischer’s but my field of reference is much wider and I am not a nonentity having a certain recognition in my own field. My kinks are such that they give as much pleasure,to their recipient as they do to me. Above all, I am interested in the people I go to bed with. Yet all my life, these desperate months between affairs have been spent fruitlessly in pursuit of sex partners, whilst other people with no overt sexual appeal that I can recognise, seem to exert an effortless attraction for other gays. It is definitely not, as Bob suggests, a question of youth and beauty.

It is a much more elusive quality that I find impossible to analyse, or even to detect. How I envy those guys who wearily, and quite sincerely, sigh “Jesus, I must have a night off, for once.” This constant rejection has a debilitating effect on one’s psychological resilience and one’s sexual competence, which in turn are mutually demoralising.

I sometimes wonder what I am doing, helping the gay reform movement, be it in the press, on the box, or simply in my everyday affairs. It is many years since I gave up my hang ups about my homosexuality and my friends and associates accept me on my own terms, and I do not differentiate between my straight and gay friends. Nor have I cultivated, nor been able to cultivate, an exclusively gay circle. Perhaps the reason for my exclusion is my lack of exclusivity. I find bilateral society attitudes are still, and regrettably, very much the norm in gay circles. How often is one asked to parties with the qualification that one must not camp because it will be ‘straight’ or ‘mixed’ or introduced to someone with a whispered warning that ‘he is not queer?’ I have never subscribed to these partisan attitudes. Does this make me undesirable? Or is there some intuitively perceived aspect of my sexual quirks that people find distasteful? Or is it simply my profile?

Is there anyone else as gorgeous as me who is equally underdesired? If so, could we between us, discover what the psycho-sexual barriers are? Failing that could we not by-pass the A & B jet set, the Coleherne Miss World contest, the GLF chauvinists, the CHE mums, the Holland Walk perambulating circumnavigators, and get on with the fucking?

Sororally yours (if I might redress Bob’s balance)

James Stevens

P.S. I Love Grinspoon.


Julie Andrews
Monday Market St
Devizes
Wilts

Dear Gay News,

I am donating £1 to your Good Gay News magazine. I hope that many many people will come to read it and that many of us Gay lonely people may find that they have many friends.

Love and Peace
to all Gay Brothers and Sisters

Julie


Rosary Gdns.,
South Kensington,
London S.W.7.

Dear ALL,

I am writing to tell you, how I enjoy your paper, or should I say our paper, I got the first issue from the Colherne, and really enjoyed it, I then tried to get the second copy by doing a rather unsuccessful tour of the newsagents, W.H. Smiths, Menzies, etc. Although I had little joy in obtaining a copy, it was compensated for by seeing the faces of some of the newsagents when asked for it. And when they said ‘no’, the mouthful they got from me, it was very amusing, I heard one ‘straight’ remark as I left the shop – “Fucking Poof” – I haven’t been called that in ages, I felt quite nostalgic.

Anyway I got number two in the end from Virgin Records, long may their ‘Y’ fronts not hamper them.

My third copy was obtained from the ‘Boltons’ (outside — I’m not too keen on the interior) whilst mincing along one night.

I am pleased to say issue no. 3 is great, I really enjoyed reading it in bed the other night, although my old man wasn’t so happy, he had other plans for the night. I think no. 2 was a low, keep on having highs like no. 3, power to your elbows duckies.

Why not a column on make-up and beauty and clothes. Heaven knows there is so much crap on the market we need a good guide to colourful make-up and good bright clothes.

Please print my little ad as I can’t afford the rent for much longer. If you do print this letter, then anyone is welcome to my place for a chat and a little wine.

Will send you a subscription when I get someone to share my place.

Andy


WATCH OUT

Dear Gay News,

Readers who use the contacting facilities of Clapham Common may care to note the following experience of mine.

Recently I went to the Common and there met a seemingly rather pleasant man and agreed to return to his flat. On leaving the Common I saw it was very late, so decided to defer the pleasure to a weekend. Whereupon my companion became threatening, demanding money and my wristwatch. Largely to avoid drawing attention I got rid of him by giving him a small amount of money I had with me.

Next day I took legal advice, which was that the police, though they might prosecute me, most certainly would take no steps whatever to pursue my assailant – my best course was to try to raise a stink.

So I wrote to that noble custodian of the British liberal conscience, ‘The Observer’, then running a service of leading articles on public confidence in the police. Back came the reply that the matter was of interest to only a minority of readers (this from a paper that purports to care about minorities), that to criticise the police on the basis of a solicitor’s experience was ‘unfair’, and that although ‘The Observer’ had (of course) no sympathy with queer bashing, anyone trolling Clapham Common really 2 was asking for it.

So Gay News readers, should any of you ever be tempted to take a late-night constitutional in Clapham’s perfumed groves, watch out, there’s a thug about. He’s about 35, 5’9″ and fairly stocky with medium length dark wiry hair, receding slightly over somewhat lined features. Scottish, probably from Dundee, but now believed to reside in Clapham. On first impression he is a decent working-class bloke. He’s not, and if you meet him, avoid him and tell your friends to do likewise.

Love and strength,

James J Scott

Would Charles G. Brown, who had a letter of his published in Gay News No. 5, please contact us. Thanks.

Biograph Review

19720901-09Hi, kiddo’s, hope you are all well and are making the best of the Summer. Time flies doesn’t it, I just can’t believe this is issue No. 6 of this lovely paper, and that yours truly still hasn’t run out of words. But there is so much happening, isn’t there?

Mind you, some people get it better than others. Here I am slaving away week in, week out, seeing all those films at the Bio, then having to write my little piece about what films are showing in the future. And of course I have my own little life to lead as well. But as I was saying, some people certainly do have it better than others. That David Seligman gets all the invites to the press showings of new films and I haven’t even had it suggested to me that I might like to try my hand at previews. It’s not fair. You get drinkies and goodies after the press showings as well, and you can rub shoulders with all those famous reviewers like Alexander ‘upyours-Ken-Russell’ Walker and Dilys ‘ever-so-arty’ Powell.

I do hear though that there will be a ticket for me to see the trade showing of Tales from the Crypt. What an honour.

You wouldn’t believe it would you, but people are still bitching me about my Bio column. Look dears, you don’t have to read me if you don’t want to. Julian knows your sort. Why don’t you just turn straight to the personal ads page and leave me to do my thing in peace. We all know that you miseries who are always complaining about this and that in this paper only buy it for the personal ads anyway.

Now for all you dears who like to be informed about what’s on at our own little haven, the Bio, here’s the run-down on what’s showing during the next couple of weeks.

A very saucy and thrilly bunch of celluloid goodies they are too. On Thursday 7th September, for three days, the main feature is Baby Love, starring Ann Lynn and Linda Hayden. It’s all about this young lady who manages to have ‘intimate’ relationships with every member of a family household. Best of luck girl, I say. I’d do the same myself if I got the chance It’s a load of rubbish but it’s fun. A fast moving outdoor action film called The Hell Benders completes the programme. It stars Joseph Cotton, who is bent on showing his years of experience in the movie industry.

Peking Medallion is the film showing on Sunday 10th September. This stars Robert Stack and Elke Sommer, and is an exciting spy thriller. Support is Cosa Nostra — Arch Enemy of the F.B.I. with Efrem Zimbalist Jnr. and Walter Pidgeon in the cast. Efrem is of course star of The F.B.I. series currently being shown on the commercial television channels. The film is about the F B.I.’s struggle against the dreaded Mafia, and as we all know the struggle is still going on against that insidious criminal disease, which unfortunately is still growing all the time.

Monday 11th September, for three days, has Fragment of Fear as top of the bill. David Hemming and super Flora Robson are the stars, and the film is quite a good thriller. Second feature is Run Virgin Run which sounds very naughty. Personally I stopped running a long time ago, but apparently the leading lady in this soft-porn epic, Helga Tolle, is still on the move. Don’t hold much hope for her in this day and age.

Alex Cord and Brin Eckland (Peter Sellers’ ex-wife) perform together in Stiletto on Thursday 14th September. This is another thriller and not a particularly memorable one at that. Also showing is A Time for Giving, which marks the return of David Jansen to the Bio’s screen. And I leave it to your imaginations to guess at what David is giving.

Sunday fare on 17th September is Naked Runner, supported by Countdown. The former stars the ageing, now retired, playboy Frank Sinatra (he’s reputedly a few other things too but I’d get myself sued if I mentioned them). The film is worth watching if you have nothing better to do. The latter features James Cann, and I believe it’s a thriller. Incidentally, Frank Sinatra has been in the news recently for two reasons, firstly because of the fortune he spent on a successful hair graft operation and also because he has had to give evidence at an enquiry into Mafia business activities in America.

Do you Want to Remain a Virgin Forever? is sure to intrigue us all on Monday 18th September. I know I couldn’t wait to lose my little rosebud. It makes me feel old trying to remember with whom I overcame that difficulty, does it you? Legend of the Witches is support feature. This is a documentary featuring self-styled King of the Witches, Alex Sanders. The film in fact is a boring tit-bum-and-thingy saga, purporting to let you know the inside story of the witchcraft cult in this country. Yawn, yawn, where’s another thingy to look at please.

Well, dears, that’s it for this issue. Must go now, I’m having a drink with one of the gentlemen from Bona News Service. Don’t forget though, give yourselves a treat and have a little relax in the gloom at our haven at Victoria. Take care.

The Biograph, Wilton Road, Victoria, London SW1.

Thursday 7th September
Baby Love : X : Ann Lynn & Linda Hayden
The Hell Benders : X : Joseph Cotten

Sunday 10th September
Peking Medallion : A : Robert Stack & Elka Sommer
Cosa Nostra – Arch Enemy Of The F.B.I. : A: Efrem Zimbalist Jnr. & Walter Pidgeon.

Monday 11th September
Fragment Of Fear : A A : David Hemming & Flora Robson
Run Virgin Run : X : Helga Tolle

Thursday 14th September
Stiletto : X : Alex Cord & Britt Ekland
A Time For Giving : A : David Jannsen

Sunday 17th September
Naked Runner : U : Frank Sinatra Countdown : U : James Cann

Monday 18th September
Do You Want To Remain A Virgin Forever? : X :
Legend Of The Witches : X :