Your Letters

Please note that any letters received by us at Gay News are liable to be published unless you state otherwise.

Why Risk It?

Middlesex

Dear Sir,

I have only seen numbers 9, 11 and 12 of GN.

I advertised in numbers 11 and 12 for someone to share my home and life. There was a bigger response than I expected and I am dealing with this now in what I hope is a civilised way.

Meanwhile, one or two thoughts occur to me. I think the heading of your illegal page is excellent. Some of the ads, however, are a bit doubtful. If you want to remain in circulation, why put it at risk in this way? There is always a temptation, feeling oneself to be in a minority, resentful, a bit aggressive about it, to be daring. Resist it. You do not have the lampooning function of Private Eye, that can tell any client of the blessed Arnold Goodman to get fucked. JS recently found BS by way of your columns (it may have been the other way round!) One of them wanted a big black cock but he could well have found it by other means without exposing you to police prosecution. Stratton-Wells is justified in his complaints. I am half-guilty myself, knowing that particular appeal, though I am not passive. Still, there is a fantasised urge there. I think Antony Storr points out that many active homosexuals want a partner with a big prick, which is, may I say in passing, English vernacular as opposed to the American cock, applicable to both male and female genitalia. The fantasised urges I spoke of can’t be allowed to direct our lives. I hope that JS and BS are happy together.

But I do think that being ‘turned on’ is suspiciously mechanical.

Faults of layout and format are not worth criticising in view of the difficult conditions you have to cope with. I wish you could find a gay millionaire to smooth things out.

Another thing: whatever Messrs JS and BS may say, your business is not to do with cocks and spunk and arseholes. These are very private matters. Gay includes women. Women do not have the apparatus mentioned. Not only do you need to devote more space to women, you also need to promote more effective communication between gay women and men. I am sure you are thinking about this.

Finally, I think you could and should increase the price of GN to at least 40p. You are in a seller’s market, with the unique advantage that you are on the side of the buyer.

Peter Jackson

Second Thoughts

Brighton

Dear Editorial Collective,

At your invitation I feel I must write and ask who is the self-styled Mary Whitehouse, or Little Hitler? Who has barred such innocent words as leather and denim from the personal ads ?

While I must agree some of the ads have been near the knuckle. I’m sure the situation doesn’t justify this discriminatory action.

Why, even in GN 12, Julian got all switched on when “he” visited the Wheatsheaf’s Green Room. I can’t wait to get there.

If you don’t want to continue the personal adverts for fear of prosecution, then come clean and say so, and don’t inflict this dictatorial attitude. After all. I’m sure everyone knows the idea of the ads.

I was hoping to put a personal advert in after Christmas, but for fear of this censorship, I am having second thoughts. So will many others.

Have another think about this matter, and come up with a logical answer.

Roy Bonham

PS. Have subscribed to no 23. Make it!

ED: Sorry we didn’t explain our new policy towards personal ads clearly enough in GN13. We most certainly are not “barring” words such as leather and denim. But for now we must alter or refuse adverts which explicitly refer to sexual acts, preferences or organs, ie whipping, CP, well-endowed, etc.

Love Lives Forever

London, SW8

Dear Gay News,

Your correspondent Doug Pollard approached the problem of ageing (GN 12 page 7) with as much wit as possible. Correct. Better laugh than cry, always. But I must tell you that the lads at the disco don’t tell me (as Doug does) to go and find an armchair at the Athenaem; and talking to my old school chums (all those bloody bishops). On the contrary, the lads at the disco invite me to come again, because I love them and they (bless their hearts) love me.

There’s only one solution to the problem. We must create a special Marxism for grandpas. What about joining the T.G.W.U. (Terpsichorian Grandpas of the World Unite) and then I can buy a ticket to the Yuletide National Lorrydrivers Lottery (You’ve nothing to loose but your life).

To be serious, Doug, I think that your phrase “gone for ever” is a bit defeatist in tone. Of course you are perfectly right in a way. If homosexuality is simply a question of cocks and balls and having it off, then certainly there comes an end to that.

But homosexuality isn’t that. It’s love, and love doesn’t go, it lives forever.

So let me stay on the disco circuit, where I guarantee I’ll find more courage, humility, generosity, gentleness and sheer love per square foot than anywhere else in London, possibly in the world. Oh brave new world that hath such creatures in it. Even Pale Brother Death is halted, and stands amazed.

Dai Grove.

Face It Babes

Dear Collective,

Sorry, but I’d like to inject a sour, critically appraising note into the general chorus of congratulation. Of course it is good that you exist and the paper is mildly entertaining, though not very informative. But how many other gays besides me are increasingly turned off by the prevailing giggly, simpering, juvenile tone representing all that is passé and stupid and discredited in the homosexual image.

Face it, babes, there is something tawdry about Gay News. Just not enough reality and intelligence.

It is mostly badly written, amateurish and uncritical in its comments on almost everything. I am not calling for the over-intellectualised approach, just a more balanced and broad depiction of the real variety and maturity in much of the gay world.

And how confused can your values get? That calendar has a photograph of Mae West who may be the object of a cult but has been known for years to be extremely hostile to gay men. I suppose you’re being good Christian gays (who needs them?) in turning the other — you should pardon the expression— cheek, but first rule of any revolution, no matter how minor, is know thine enemy.

Daniel James

Fem or Butch

Leeds

Dear Gay News,

I’ve just returned from a gay club in London where I was asked if I was ‘fem’ or ‘butch’ — having never considered this, I just said I was a person. However it seemed that people expected to know if I was ‘fem’ or ‘butch’ in order to relate themselves to me; ie was I a good pick up. I find it equally hard to relate to fem and butch images and all their restrictions. Perhaps it’s my restriction but I suggest that these gay women are presenting the stereotypes that one can find in any straight disco/bar. They also prevent other gay women coming out by turning them off the gay scene because these gay women seek individuality rather than conformity. Anyway, I’d like to know what other people think of this.

Incidentally, we’d like more women members of GLF in Leeds, we have fluctuated to two at the moment.

Jane

Much Ado

Bayswater

Dear Gay News,

Whilst, probably correctly, petulantly chanting again and again your dissociation with any organisation, do you dare print this letter and admit in reply to James Knight that Roger Baker, Press Officer for CHE wrote the attack on Martin Stafford for your newspaper?

Love, B S

ED: We dared to print your letter. So what?

Bugging the Bugs

London

Dear Gay News,

Thanks a lot for that really interesting article on crabs in GN8! As you said we can all be a bit simple sometimes and I must qualify for simpleton of the year award. I’ve been scratching my balls for about a week or so, and it was only when re-reading some back numbers of GN that I realised what I had got. I immediately rushed round to the local chemists for the Quellada (and got an icy and disgusted look from the assistant as she gave it to me!) Got a hot (too hot) bath with about half a bottle of Dettol in it and proceeded to cover myself with the recommended lotion. Then I took everything I’d worn, the bedsheets, towels and all to the laundrette and the dry cleaners. All this as you can imagine cost me a fortune, the dry cleaning alone came to £1.50. I’m still racking my brains to think when and where I could have caught the little bastards, as I get a bath very regularly and use plenty of Femfresh – er I mean Old Spice!

What really made me uptight was that the other night I was with a really fabulous boy at a club and had to make excuses when he asked me back to his place, as I still had the Quellada lotion on my body! Thanks to the above mentioned article and its excellent advice I have got rid of the pesky things and can start to live again!

On another track. I’d like to say how fantastic I think Gay News is and give my love to Julian! Keep the gay flag flying!

Rick

Lovely Points

Dear Gay News,

That letter from ‘Queenies Castle’ really slayed us (Gay News issue number 12). “If” Sebastion is “straight”, then “call me Madam”. Perhaps He (or she) had a tiff with the Manager of the “dear old Bio” and plans to get her revenge.

Keep on writing, Julian, we love to read your points of view. We also think “Queenies Castle” should be renamed “HATTERS CASTLE”.

Martha, Michelle and Diana

Never Be Parents

London, W14.

Dear Gay News,

Few people seem to be aware of the unhappiness facing the Lesbian who loves children, but, because she cannot respond to men, despairs of ever having any children of her own.

Many gay men marry women who understand their problems and together they managed to bring up happy children. Gay women, on the other hand, have to find all their emotional satisfaction in their relationships with other women – and as they get older, with increasingly young girls who tend to become daughter substitutes.

Not all gay women may have found this, but it has been my experience. All my men friends are gay; all the straight men I ever knew lost interest not being content with a non-sexual relationship. Good riddance anyway. In retrospect they are all so hung-up on role playing that they couldn’t see the real person in me or themsleves.

Is there anyone who is really into kids and is not hung-up on sex and roles? Creative and understanding? I would like to hear about gay or bi men who also get depressed because they think they will never be parents.

Dierdre.

Lancette

I made it very clear in my previous article about VD (crabs and scabies) that a thorough wash every day is essential to people that have it off lots of times with lots of different people. Avoiding crabs and scabies is fairly easy because they’re quite large animals and you can see them, or at least what they do to the outside of your body. Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, Non-Specific Urethritis (NSU) and other diseases caught particularly by sexual contact are caused by nasty little creatures that can’t be seen with the nude eye. I’m not going to talk specifically about these different diseases at the moment, but I am going to suggest advice on how to avoid them.

Don’t fuck or be fucked if you have any kind of sore on your prick, cunt or bum. See a doctor. It might be nothing, but check.

After you’ve fucked someone have a piss – it helps to flush out the germs that might be creeping up your piss pipe – wash your cock.

If you are about to be fucked, have a look at his cock first. If there is any kind of sore or spot or wart, forget it. If you really must — just have a mutual wank, but wash your hands afterwards. Warts on the cock, cunt or bum if ignored, are particularly difficult to get rid of, even more so than warts anywhere else on your body. They are not particularly harmful, and may go away of their own accord some time or other, but what right have you to pass them on to anyone else! See your doctor.

If you have any kind of burning sensation when you piss or any kind of discharge from your peehole before or after pissing that doesn’t look like normal piss (cloudy, darker, or thicker) then if you get into bed with anyone the chances are you’re passing on VD and I’d like to kick you in the groin. You deserve it!

Anyone with any kind of worry about Venereal Disease should go to their own doctor, and remember that if he tells any one of your own family or employers about it he can be struck off the register, so he’s bound to be a nice man really. Or go to your local hospital and boldly ask for the ‘Special Treatment Centre’ or VD Clinic, giving someone else’s name and false occupation. They don’t mind but they are inclined to treat you as the scum of the earth. Take the treatment but not the moralising.

PS. If the moralising doctors suggest that you should not drink alcohol because you are being treated for VD of any kind, ignore them. In their own way they’re really saying “if this patient gets drunk he’s likely to go out and fuck somebody else” (or be fucked) it is absolutely nothing to do with the treatment or the drugs used in any kind of VD. It is just that they think you need a little punishment. Death to quacks.

PPS. I’ve never come across a personal vibrator with warts.

PPPS. I’ve never met anyone in my thirty one years of life that doesn’t wank and isn’t a liar. It’s a very healthy exercise — carry on, I’m off to have one now.

CRABS

‘Crabs’ are lice. There are head lice, body lice and genital lice (crabs). The crab or genital louse likes to live around the hairs of cocks and cunts but often can be found wandering in armpits, chest or even eyebrow hair. They look a bit like sea-shore type crabs but are about the size of a pinhead and when you catch one, if you hold it up to the light you will be able to see that it is not a speck of fluff or dirt because it has legs and claws that move. They cling onto your hairs and bite into your skin, sucking your blood and shitting, causing intense itching and making small reddened patches which will get larger when scratched and may become severely infected, needing antibiotic treatment. Tender lumps in the groin or armpit – see your doctor!

These itchy little gits also lay tiny but quite visible oval eggs (nits’), which cling to hairs (like the ‘nits’ of the head louse) and hide in clothing, particularly seams, bed-linen, towels etc.

“The best way to get rid of them is never to catch them” – Some unwordly medical wit thought that one up, but is best to have a good look at whoever you may feel like scoring with. Cleanliness is not next to godliness – but it scares the shit out of lice! If you have it off all over the place and you can’t wash thoroughly every day – then you’re mad – and a danger to everybody. If you’ve got crabs without knowing it then you’re simple, because from now on you’ll be able to look carefully for the creatures, especially if you’re scratching a lot.

When you’ve got crabs. We are all a bit simple occasionally, so when you’ve got crabs buy yourself some QUELLADA LOTION from any chemist (use QUELLADA PC as a shampoo if you’ve got head lice) – have a shower or bath and put on lotion strictly according to instructions on the bottle. Don’t put any of the same clothes back on. Wash them and iron them – particularly the seams. Don’t use the same towels or bedclothes again until they’ve been thoroughly washed.

One application should be enough but it s best to repeat the whole thing again after seven days. Not before that and not again in the same infestation. Don’t wear clothes you think you may have worn since you caught crabs unless they are washed or dry-cleaned first. Quellada is the most effective way of getting rid of crabs or lice that I know. It has a pleasant, faint smell, doesn’t sting your balls, labia or arsehole – (but keep well away from eyes or mouth), stops the itching within minutes and as well as killing crabs and their eggs, also gets rid of scabies.

Scabies

Very tiny little mites which cause intense itching because they burrow into your skin, lay eggs and shit there, causing reddening and tiny blisters over their tunnels. Scabies are easily caught through sexual contact. Infected ‘bed-mates’ should be treated, if you’ve got CRABS or SCABIES. Lice from domestic animals are NOT attracted to man and mites from cats and dogs may invade man’s skin but cannot continue their life-cycle there. So don’t blame Rover or Tibbs! Writing this has made me feel itchy, so I’m off to have a good look …

Crabs and The Law

05-197208xx-3Might I suggest you have a feature (if you haven’t already) on How to Get Rid Of Crabs. They seem to be on too many people these days, and a lot of guys don’t even know they’ve got them. Quickest method is a spray of Pestroy or Vamoose (dog powder) and a bath half an hour afterwards, but there may be better ways.

Oh, the cops have been acting very suspiciously in Hyde Park, just north of that bandstand where the cruising goes on. I was going through there the other night with a friend and we saw two figures up against a tree – turned out to be a couple of young cops (one of whom was gorgeous) with their helmets off, obviously out for some quick promotion. With a readymade story no doubt cooked up already so that each could corroborate the other, what could be easier than to nab some innocent gay. Panda cars were also much in evidence, so to hell with all the robbery and violence everywhere else – just a short spell in Hyde Park and you are a detective constable in no time. Please warn your readers!