No in the mind of what he wanted.
Clapham Common, Hyde Park, Hampstead Heath, Baker Street toilets.
Could one develop a relationship with another person finding them in one of these spots. He supposed it was an accepted fact that if a male picked up another in a homosexual patterned joint, that it was sexual necessity first and foremost. Since it was quite easy for one to get sex this way, in these places, no bother to meet again just hop down to the bog.
Hence! “You’re beautiful.”
But they never meet again for someone else came along to take the momentous place.
The conveyor belt moves on.
So one gets up in the morning and looks over to the form lying somewhat detached from himself and thinks. “O no. I’ve done it again. I’ve sexed, slept, probably smiled with someone, shared something. But it was all a lie, it meant nothing. The insincerity of a passing acquaintance crippled with the background of a dizzy pickup in the jungle makes me feel sickly.” This is my life, one thinks. Young and wanting not just sex but a wholesome relationship and what does one get?
Degradation being forced to go to these hunting grounds whatever form they’re in; meeting someone who excites you, going home with them, acting friendly and nice. And then for the big climax, having sex, climax? sex …….. only?
And then feeling hollow because you know instinctively that there’s no true feeling, there is or was a sexual feeling but that’s gone in the vacant morning.
Because of the factors that the homosexual plays in – this long conveyor belt of one night, two week relationships he is trapped into being excessively free about his sexual relationships. Unfortunately, though these little bouts mean nothing. Basically nobody looks for a negative life style. But it is there
One sees and meets older men. They are twenty-eight, forty two, one thinks, someday I’ll be there. One sees nothing very encouraging. Men who have adjusted and accept this light, meaningless life.
They are happy (accept) with insincere little frolicks. Contented with just sex. Crippled inside with no real love.
Homosexual groups are good in that it has brought to the public’s eye (shortsighted) that homosexuals are around and probably has dispersed a lot of myths about them (which are corny). There is also a much better chance of meeting people without showing a cock first. Ten years ago, negroes were still maids. Now they are much more. It is insane to have negroes only play as butlers in Hollywood.
Homosexuals will be more accepted in ten years time. But I feel that a lot of the problem is to do individually. Society has supressed the homosexual. And when the law does break itself to free them it will be them to liberate themselves to a happier life.
By an 18 year old boy
PS. I like your magazine.