Fear Of Separation


The article entitled ‘The End Of An Affair’ (GN9) fell on sympathetic ears as I read it, and rekindled a fear I’ve tried to live with for almost two years. It was then that I met, and hopelessly fell in love with, the most wonderful young man from Africa (I hesitate to mention the country or even my own name as association with either could lead to serious difficulty for him with his sponsors in this country.

Since we have been together we’ve both been conscious of the fact that political instability in his country of origin could lead to our immediate break-up. This, together with the usual uncertainties that accompany any alien’s life, has troubled me since he first exposed me to the wonders of guiltless homosexual love, characteristic of someone with his cultural origins. His influence has dispelled the guilt ridden attitude that was a feature of my personality when we got together. He not only taught me to love, but gave me faith in myself. Unfortunately we’re rarely together as we met as students and are both now continuing our courses some distance apart. Naturally we get together as often as we can, but with all the uncertainties the future can’t be charted and holds the terrible possibility of that abrupt end.

We make the most of what few opportunities we do have of being together, but being gay, society heaps difficulties upon the confusion and uncertainty. We would grab at the chance of appending our names to a bit of paper if it would ensure our staying together, here or anywhere else, even if that may be a bourgeois convention.

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